It's an illusion...

Diner: Waitress, the portions are getting smaller. Waiter: It's just an optical illusion. It's just that the restaurant has been enlarged.

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Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make. Waiter: They are. She couldn't cook either.

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Waiter, Waiter there's a fly in my ice-cream ! Gee I did not know that they had started winter sports so early in the year !